Drinking and Other Pretty Things

"drink responsibly. water then vodka. water, vodka, water, vodka."

2010-08-20T09:23:00.000-07:00

I am currently on liquor and junk food lockdown due to the night I had on Wednesday, meaning last night I actually had to smack myself in the face for even LOOKING at a cookie. I recently became friends with Lisa, who is a pastry chef intent on making me fat. When we first met she told me she lovedddd Korean Barbecue, I told her I'd only had it a couple of times but was also a big fan. So we decided we'd soon make a KBBQ date - I actually have her in my phone as "Lisa - KBBQ!!!" So this past Wednesday we finally rounded up a few friends and set out to K-Town. Since moving to Los Angeles one of my food gurus has become Tony from SinoSoul - so I asked him where we should go for inexpensive KBBQ. He suggested Don Day.

When I first arrived with two very hungry boys, Lisa and Martinique were running late. I'd been saving my appetite all day in preparation for the meal, so needless to say, I was very, very, very ready to eat. Luckily they gave us a salad to hold us down until the rest of our party arrived, but do you know how painful it is to sit nibbling lettuce while you smell juicy slices of meat roasting all around you??? Horrendous! Finally the rest of our group arrived and we started eating.

As I said before, I'm not a KBBQ expert but appreciate anything that tastes delicious. For me the food was great, while Lisa was a bit disappointed with the meat. I will agree the sides were lacking, but I was still really happy with the food. We all agreed that the tongue was our favorite, who doesn't love a little tongue??? (FYI we made this joke all night - repeatedly - it did not get old)

Also our waiter was a champion with a fantastic dimple and even joined in our tasteless conversation regarding the term "Raw Dog" and whether or not it's ever okay to say in intimate situations. Note to males; IT'S AN EXTREMELY TACKY EXPRESSION.

After our meal the boys got in their car to go get some...special goods...and the girls got in Lisa's car, we all agreed we'd rejoin forces at a bar of my choosing in a little bit. Somewhere between googling bar options on our phones and singing along to Lady Gaga, however, I pointed out that we all smelled absolutely FOUL due to the amount of dead animal we'd just consumed. I insisted that we pull into a gas station and get some mints. Martinique responded, "If we go into Pavilion's we can get mints AND chocolate." Damn it. The last thing I needed after 2000 calories of KBBQ was chocolate, but it had been put out on the table and there was no taking it back. We guiltily pulled into the Pavilions parking lot.

After much debate and offending several Pavilions employees, Lisa settled on the "Big Cup" Reeses, Martinique got a Kit Kat and I got a Dark Chocolate Reeses. So unnecessary.

I want to pause for a moment here and talk about something very important; Martinique's hair. Okay, I'm just going to put it out there... my hair gets a lot of attention. I have a lot of it, and it's curly. There are usually two things guys do when they hit on me; A. They ask if I'm the girl from Harry Potter, and B. They say they like my hair. I'll admit, I only wear my hair up when I'm trying to be ugly. Without it I feel much like I assume an impotent man would feel; shitty and worthless.

That's a lot of hair!!!!

Enter Martinique. Now, there's great hair (mine) and then there's otherworldly, fabulous, almost supernaturally attractive hair. Martinique falls into the latter group. Never have I ever gone out with someone whose hair gets more attention than this girl. Sure enough, as our fat little asses were pulling out of Pavilions with our chocolate in tow, a man ran in front of our car and frantically waved his arms until getting our attention. He then pointed at Martinique, screamed, "Your HAIR!" and kissed his fingertips dramatically. Martinique, I officially bow down to you on the altar of all things hairy; you are superior to me.

ANYWAY. We first stopped by The Dresden, sat down for about thirty seconds, realized everyone was old and staring at us hatefully, then canceled our drink orders and left. We decided instead to go to Birds, on Franklin. This was a way better scene. I used to live about two blocks from Franklin Village and Birds was one of my regular spots for a casual drink. Also, their burgers are pretty great - I was on the Atkins diet for approximately two weeks when I first moved here and I've eaten a LOT of bunless bacon cheeseburgers at this joint. I stopped doing it when I realized that vodka isn't allowed (forget the fact that eating nothing but cholesterol will eventually kill you.)

Birds is a super low key place for both food and drinking, and is always pretty busy at night with a wide range of people from 20's to 40's. Lots of cuties to look at without being too trendy, hipster or pretentious. Okay, that's a lie, there are definitely a lot of hipsters but there are enough non hipsters to make up for it. Martinique is a club snob whose nights out usually require cocktail attire and even she pointed out, "Wow, I didn't know there could be so many good looking people at a bar." There were, however, a few failures of the night.

First let's start with these two girls. Okay guys...what are you doing? This went on for WAY too long, to the point when they were no longer even pretending to be into the music but just standing there and slightly swaying/wobbling. You couldn't have done that on the ground?? Also - there's food being served here, I don't want your bare feet in my face! And THEN there were the two biggest assholes of the night, two men whose attempts at picking me up were so terrible that the memory still sends chills down my spine. Unfortunately I don't have pictures of them, so in leu of that I'll just post the closest thing.

Imagine two 25 year old boys wearing Abercrombie with drunk squishy little faces and watery eyes. Okay? Funnily enough, I'd actually met these boys once before and already turned them down, but apparently they didn't remember. So they start talking to me and because I'm not into slurred speech or douchebags, I politely brush them off. And yes, POLITELY. I am much nicer in person than I am in writing. Anyway, so I turn and start talking to Lisa and I hear one of the scorned boys say to his buddy, "These girls just want rich dudes. We should just make fake business cards and hand them out, I bet then she'd talk to us." Oy. I told myself that it must be really hard being both unattractive and socially inept and ignored it, pretend not to hear, and continued talking to Lisa. The guys keep going, "These fucking actresses...okay, lets just start talking loudly about the industry and see if she turns and starts talking to us, I bet she will." They then launch into I guess their best imitation of "powerful producer showbiz talk," because yes, THAT'S what gives me boners. Talking very loudly I hear them saying, "Okay, I think it's definitely possible to get production going ASAP, we just need to figure out a budget. Twenty or thirty mill shouldn't really be a problem for me." As this continues I stand there paralyzed from the realization that anyone could actually be this lame, and it must have become clear that I was listening because I then hear one of the guys whisper, "It's working, she's listening." At this point my inner monologue is going something like this; "Oh my god...I can't believe anyone sucks this much...oh shit, now they think I'm listening because I'm impressed by them...okay Meaghan, try and look disgusted...oh god, they still think I'm impressed...walk away, it's the only way! You have to WALK AWAY NOW." I had to finally just turn and walk away, which was about as hard as not looking at a massive car wreck on the highway. I mean, REALLY PEOPLE, it's soooo easy to not be that big of a douchebag.

At some point someone busted out a Jenga set and we engaged in a very serious competition on the bar. I asked Lisa how you know who the winner is and she said wisely, "It's not about who the winner is, it's about who the loser is." I thought that was pretty depressing. More depressing was when I tried to engage in platonic flirtation with a fat gay man at the bar, mostly because he reminded me of Elton John, and after what I thought was friendly banter he sarcastically snapped, "I'm sorry, but we're discussing politics, it won't interest you," and rudely turned back to his friends. Whoa! How offensive! Listen buddy, I'm not stupid just because I'm wearing a sparkly shirt and look like I might be.

Before closing out my tab I told the fantastic and very friendly bartender Bob that I wanted something "short and straight forward." He gave me something that definitely had whiskey in it and maybe some roofies because I don't remember much else after that. All in all, Birds was a blast, as usual.

Don Day: 300 S Hobart Blvd

Birds: 5925 Franklin Ave

dinner with an ex

2010-08-11T07:52:00.000-07:00

A most unsettling thing happened to me the other day. After a rigorous yoga workout (pats self on back) I came home ready to eat an entire family of SOME species or other. I really didn't care what, I was just hungry. Looking in my fridge I realized that basically all I had were blueberries and Kashi - this was NOT going to cut it. I needed serious carbs and heavy duty animal fat. Pronto. So I decided I'd hop in my car and drive to get some food, but then made the horrifying discovery that my credit card was nowhere to be found. I knew where I'd left it, and that I wouldn't be able to get it until the next day. I briefly considered ordering in delivery and charging it over the phone to my mother's credit card, but since I've made a vow to myself (and my mother) to stop doing that, I knew that simply wouldn't do. I quickly realized that what I needed was a MAN. More specifically, a man who found me charming and owed me a favor. Luckily, my Ex-Boyfriend happened to be in town. I called him.

First let me say, I'm not being a dickhead in writing this. I explained the situation immediately upon calling him, he was fully aware of my motives and the role he'd be playing in the affair, i.e, Sugar Daddy. I laid it all out for him; he would be paying, we would not be making out. But because I was suchhhhhhhhhhhhh a good girlfriend, and I'm sooooo loveable, he said yes. SCORE. I recommended we go to Lazy Ox Canteen, one of my favorite spots, but he was in the mood for sushi at Roy's...I found this a bit random, and I'd just eaten at Roy's not long before, but, he was paying, so, fine by me.

Now, the one understanding that we came to (other than the understanding that he'd be paying and that I'd be sweet) was that there would not be pictures taken during our meal due to the fact that several people would be quite unhappy with both of us were they to realize we'd eaten together. Luckily, I have pictures from my previous Roy's dinner with Kim, and actually ordered a lot of the same stuff, so, that's where these pictures come from.

One thing I ordered both times I ate here was the Lakanilau; waygu beef, snowcrab, tempura asparagus, avocado, sesame miso and truffled greens. There is soooo much that I love about this roll. Now, I despise asparagus. Except, of course, when it's fried. So that was great. Also, I'm such an effing carnivore that I loveeee the idea of beef in a sushi roll. Also, truffled greens...when is truffle not the best idea ever?

The Hawaiian Ahi Big Eye Tartare was another dish I got both times; pine nuts, garlic chipotle aioli, drizzled with honey. Incredibly delicious. We also ordered Auntie Lei's Aloha Roll, which was spicy tuna, kaiware, yellowtail, salmon, avocado and garlic ponzu. This was good but not my favorite.

Since the ex doesn't have much of a sweet tooth, he didn't want dessert but told me I should get it if I wanted it. Since sugar is my middle name I obviously wanted it, but what girl wants to eat dessert alone in front of a guy? So I was like, "Oh, no, that's fine...I'm really full." LIAR!!! However I did have two delicioussss desserts while dining at Roy's with Kim. They were both on the specials list, one was a super yummy chocolate mousse scenario which came with little cookies for dipping. AWESOME.

Kim had never had Pineapple Upside Down Cake before, so we got that also. It was a little dry for my taste, pineapple upside down cakes should be as moist and juicy as possible, but it did come with ice cream which was a definite bonus. All in all, Roy's was great both times; especially the second time, because it was free! The decor is a little stale and outdated, and true, the names of some menu items are a bit ridiculous, but the food is delish. And who knew how useful ex boyfriends could be?? Much love.

"everything in moderation. except for drinking."

2010-08-06T16:08:00.001-07:00

I know, I know, I know, I'm an asshole and haven't written in a year. Really shitty. But I'm going to assume you survived without me, all is forgiven, and move along. I have tons of places, nights and painful mornings to write about, but first I'll start with a wonderful weekend I recently had when my brother's darling girlfriend, Shannon, came to visit me.

Shannon…effing…rocks. For many reasons. Not only does she deserve props for dating my older brother - which is not an easy job - but it should be noted that she is the FIRST girl for my brother to ever honor with the official Girlfriend title. Many have sought the title and failed, quite miserably. And I don't count any of you High School/Middle School girlfriends (you were all mostly evil, by the way). Shannon, however, has seemingly tamed the beast, much to our family's shock, awe and gratitude. She also has a killer ass from her new Pilates routine.

So we started our night at Bite Bar in Santa Monica. My friend Kim just started working here, so go say hi to her! This place used to be solely a baked goods spot, and supposedly their pastries during the day are exquisite, but the new small plates dinner menu is a new thing. The interior was simple and understated with pots and pans hanging on the walls. Very cute. And the food!

Okay, there are barely any healthy options on the menu, but other than that definite negative, I loved it! We ordered champagne and worked our way through the menu. My absolute favorite were the bacon wrapped dates stuffed with manchego cheese and corizo. Absurd. We also got mahi mahi tacos, vegetable croquettes, artichoke beignet, summer salad skewers, crostini and a charcuterie plate. A lot of food, yes.

The summer salad skewers with watermelon, feta and mint. BOMB.

The crostini were incredible: roasted beets with lemon ricotta…tomato with basil and mozzarella…sweat pea with pecorino and mint salad…sopressata, artichoke and lemon…and whipped brie with rhubarb chutney. All incredible, the one with beets was definitely my favorite.

After dinner we stayed in Santa Monica and checked out the Daily Pint. Judging by the number of Yelp reviews, this place clearly isn't a "secret gem" but it's new to me and I'm completely in love with it. It was recommended to me as a "great dive bar" which I was a tad skeptical about…I can do the dive bar thing but it's not generally my style. As soon as I walked in though, I was won over.

The first thing I noticed was that the ratio of Hot Man to Meaghan was incredibly, incredibly high. And I didn't see a single fedora in the entire place! But I did see plenty of baseball caps…love it. Also, the crowd wasn't all 25 and under, which is a good thing in my book. No offense to anyone, but the last time I dated a guy in his 20's was in college, and that relationship ended with me trapped in a speeding car screaming "Please don't drive us into a tree! I'm sorry! I love you!" and both of us calling our lawyers…so…yeah. I date grown ups now. (Debatable.)

Moving along. There is a fantastic, fantastic, fantastic collection of craft beers here, as well as a great assortment of Scotch. And in the back room is a huge flatscreen for sports watching, pool, shuffleboard and foosball. The whole vibe was relaxed yet energetic, nothing pretentious about it at all but still, not a gross frat house turned bar type place like a lot of dives.

I was loving the place and the fact that the crowd was pretty much all unshaven men when of course the ONE guy wearing gel in his hair in the ENTIRE bar decided to stroll over and chat us up. He opened with the line, "Nice leather jackets. You got guns in there?" Nice. Shannon and I didn't really get the correlation but smiled politely, "Uh, no…no guns." He was undeterred. "Tell me the truth, are you two cops?" Huge douchey grin. "Uh, no…we're not." It didn't stop. "Come on. Are you guys sherriffs?" …Silence… "You're deputies, aren't you?" …Oh my God, is this joke still happening? "Tell me the truth, tell me the truth, you're undercover, right?" I finally told him that I wrote a blog making fun of the assholes I meet in bars and all their laughable attempts at sleeping with me. That helped shut him up but it was NOT an easy task. Ugh. But honestly, this is Los Angeles, which is on planet Earth, so if I don't meet one creeper during a night out it would mean I was no longer living, so, whatever. All in all the Daily Pint was a total win, I've gone back several times.

The next morning we dragged our hungover little butts to Little Dom's in Los Feliz because I'd heard great things about their brunch. Brunch in New York was pretty much the highlight of my week and something that has left a gaping hole of sadness in my Los Angeles life. I need to fix that, so anyone who has recommendations for great brunch spots- let me know! Please! Little Dom's definitely hit the spot though.

Nutella Panino - yes!

Our favorite was off the specials list; fried polenta, poached egg with hollandaise sauce and bacon…absolutely unbelievable. One of the best breakfast items I've had in a hot second. Also, when we later felt guilty and suicidal about our twelve hours of bingeing, Shannon and I sat down with a calorie counter book. We couldn't find fried polenta anywhere in the whole book, which Shannon and I agreed must mean it's calorie free; excellent!

Loved Little Dom's, will absolutely return. It reminded me a lot of my go to spot Schillers in New York, actually. Anyway, until next time...

Bite Bar: 3221 Pico Blvd, Santa Monica

The Daily Pint: 2310 Pico Blvd, Santa Monica

Little Dom's: 2128 Hillhurst Ave

my favorites

2010-07-14T12:19:00.000-07:00

my dear friend katherine from Conscious Karma recently listed her top ten favorite foods... this has inspired me to put together my own list of favorites. but, being that i'm a bit ruder/pessimistic, do a lot less yoga and therefore am filled with much more negativity than katherine, I will soon follow up this list of bests with a list of WORSTS. because, let's be honest... praising greatness is more fun when you have something horrendous to compare it to. but for now, i'll stick with the good spots. and sorry my little west coast botox fiends...this one's for new york.

Best Gastropub: Brinkley's, 406 Broome

When I first went to Brinkley's it was because my friend Raquel had lured me there with the promise of hot scruffy men -I consider myself a professional Scruffy Man Hunter, LOVE THEM- but never expected to love the food as much as I do. I hate fancy boys, I want them dirty, hairy and poorly dressed (a strong jawline is a must, though) like men are supposed to be. Unfortunately these men don't hang out or eat at the places I like...instead I usually find men with gel in their hair (AHHHHHH) wearing suits (DEATH!!!!). And don't even get me started on men who wear fedoras...fedoras are intended to be worn by women, humphrey bogart, and johnny depp. no one else. my most recent man-person-guy-thing has been informed that if he ever wears his fedora in front of me...we will no longer be on speaking terms and will most certainly not be getting naked together. Usually I have to go to testosterone driven grimy places to find suitable men, but Brinkley's is one of those rare places where I can find both the men and atmosphere that I like. and the food...BOMB. Get the burgers, artichoke soup, butternut squash ravioli and fried mars bar. then go to the gym, fatty.

Best Jewelry: Some Odd Rubies, 151 Ludlow

This tiny little boutique has great clothing in general, but is always my go to spot for beautiful jewelry. Love, love, love this store.

Best Cupcake: Sugar Sweet Sunshine, 126 Rivington

I LOVE SUGAR!!! This place is just down the street from my apartment in NY which is 90 percent of the reason I think I've lost several pounds since moving west. Also probably because Los Angeles is a place that encourages starvation in general, but, you know. If you want an amazing cupcake but are tired of feeling like a fat loser standing in line for 40 minutes outside of Magnolia...please, go to Sugar Sweet Sunshine instead! It's JUST as good, there's never a very long line, and there's no annoying "12 cupcake maximum." I mean, what if you need more than twelve cupcakes?!? Sometimes you do! When I first discovered this place it was the first time I'd left my apartment after a xanax and dvd filled week of crying post major heartbroken man-drama. (don't feel bad for me...the man in question ended up feeling extremelyyy regretful...didn't you, old man? wink) But yeah, this little gem of a bakery healed me in ways nobody could ever understand. The pistachio and sunshine cupcakes are my favorites...the banana pudding is also not to be missed!

Best Taco: Los Feliz's chicken taco, 109 Ludlow

I know I'm cheating on La Esquina by naming Los Feliz as provider of the best taco in NY, but don't worry, La Esquina will get its share of love later on in the list. I mean, duh, La Esquina and I are practically married...except it doesn't miss me at all when I'm gone and cheats on me with people much hotter than myself. But back to Los Feliz. Now, this isn't the place to go if you want authentic mexican food, but if you want something a little more experimental and fusion-y, this is your spot. The chicken tacos are my favorite anywhere, the chicken is actually pan fried, and it's covered in pineapple, red chili aioli, and cotija cheese. YUM YUM YUM.

Best Cuban Restaurant: Cafe Cortadito, 210 East 3rd St

This tiny, unassuming little restaurant is A-MAZ-ING. Introduced to me by my lower east side guru, Melissa, I always go here when I want delicious food without a scene. My recommendations are the Guaguanco salad (avocado, pineapple, red onions, cheese and mango dressing), and the Ropa Vieja.

Best Vintage: Pilgrim, 70 Orchard

This FABULOUS little boutique has clothes designed by Richard Ives as well as lots of vintage finds. It's also filled not only with clothes and accessories but furniture and art as well.

Best New Spot: Blind Barber, 339 E. 10th St

Ok, so I have to be totally honest... due to my current west coast-ness I haven't been able to check this spot out since it opened last month, but as its owned by two of my darling friends, Adam Kirsch and Jeffrey Laub, I've been hearing about it since it was still in its beginning stages of development and got to check out the unfinished space right before its opening when I was back in NY recently. It's an old school barbershop by day with a saloon-esque lounge in the back that opens at 6 pm each night. It's the kind of place you can go wearing your converse or your heels and feel equally comfortable. Also...there's a secret little backyard area outside...and all you nicotine fiends and potheads know how convenient those can be. Make friends with Laub and Kirsch and maybe they'll take you back there...

Best Morning Coffee Spot: Falai Panetteria, 68 Clinton St

If I don't have time to sit and eat, Falai is usually where I grab my coffee and breakfast when I'm in NY. It's tiny, cozy, and super quick. Grab the chocolate croissant, yogurt parfait and cappuccino to go. If you have time, it's also a great place to sit with a book while you fuel up for the day.

Best Brunch: Schillers, 131 Rivington

Schillers is just a few doors down from my apartment and one of my favorite restaurants ever. When I'm in New York I think I eat about twenty percent of all my meals here. Brunch is definitely my favorite meal. The first time I ever ate here was actually for brunch...after waking up on my friend's floor smelling of tequila and shame, I'd wanted to order in breakfast. Luckily Adri insisted that we go to Schiller's for french toast. So glad she did. The brunch gets really busy, so go early, but it's an amazing vibe, great crowd and delicious food. All the egg dishes are bomb, but my personal favorite are the sour cream and hazelnut waffles. Exquisite.

Best Hungover Brunch: Clinton Street Baking Co, 4 Clinton Street

Okay, there are mornings when you want brunch with mimosas and pretty people (Schillers) then there are those mornings when the idea of alcohol sends chills down your spine and you don't want anyone remotely attractive to see your gnarly, hungover self. You just need food. For mornings such as these, Clinton Street Baking Co is where its at. Like Schillers it's super busy in the mornings, but people are really there just for the food, not to socialize. They're famous for their blueberry pancakes, which are hands down the best I've ever had. Also, I usually don't like syrup on my pancakes or waffles, I really am NOT a fan, but at Clinton Street the maple syrup is so delicious that I usually order extra. Unfortunately the dirty little secret behind its goodness is that its made with about five kilos of BUTTER, ugh, so you feel like such an asshole after you inevitably eat all of it. Everything on this menu is beyond delicious and the portions are huge - this is for serious breakfast eaters only!!!

Best Lingerie Store: Journelle, 3 East 17th Street

Seriously, who enjoys Victoria's Secret? I don't. So uninspired. When I want sexy lacy underthings, I go to Journelle near Union Square. Yes! Above 14th street! Crazy! This is a GEM of a lingerie store, with designers like Chantelle, Simon Perele and Elle Macpherson. The dressing rooms are adorable, complete with a vanity and little curtain perfect for putting on a striptease for your guest. Melissa demonstrates in the picture above.

Best Mexican: Barrio Chino, 253 Broome

Okay, okay, okay, once again, obviously La Esquina KILLS at mexican food, but I must give a shout out to a slightly lesser known spot, Barrio Chino. This tiny little restaurant/bar is one of my favorite spots for both lunch and dinner, though it gets super crowded during evening hours. The decor is sexy and crude, mixing mexican and asian influences. The drinks are DELICIOUS and the bartenders are super cute. I ADORE the calamari salad here, it's actually filling, which most calamari salads are not. Also bomb are the mango salad, steak tacos and black beans. Also, the dark ginger mojitos... yes.

Best Boutique: Maryam Nassir Zadeh, 123 Norfolk

This is one of the most inspired, gorgeous and creative shopping experiences you'll have downtown. It IS expensive, but everything in here is truly a piece of art and there's only one of everything, so you wont see any other skinny bitches wearing your dress in a smaller size...which, let's be honest, is the second most annoying thing in the world after seeing your ex boyfriend with a replica of YOU in a smaller size. This store is filled not only with stunning clothing and jewelry, but random pieces of art and home decor as well. Also, I've learned that prices are negotiable here...ask nicely and they might drop fifty dollars or so off your bill.

Best Excuse for Committing a Criminal Act: The Box, 189 Chrystie

Oy...where to begin. There are few nightspots in NY that have caused as much gossip as The Box in recent years. Brought to you by the ever so naughty Simon Hammerstein, The Box is a mixture between bar, nightclub, and burlesque show. Get past the brutally honest and slightly terrifying doorman, Genc, make your way through the red curtains and find yourself in a gorgeous space reminiscent of a 1920's vaudeville theatre...except for the leather clad midgets and drag queens running around. And probably a couple of naked people. The shows happen at 1:30, 2:30, and 3:30 am. The acts ranges from beautiful to slightly risque to...really upsetting and inappropriate. Yes, you will see bottles being shoved into orifices where bottles should never go. Yes, you might get sprayed with some bodily fluids. And yeah, you'll probably see sex acts that aren't legal in some states - both onstage and in the private booths upstairs. BUT, you'll also see some amazing dancing, acrobats, and fabulous musical numbers. The crowd is definitely on the beautiful and pretentious side - not surprising as the bottle service is the most expensive in Manhattan. But, if you're looking for a night that goes well past 4 am and a hangover of epic proportions...go here. It is NOT, however,suitable for anyone hoping for a career in politics, as the chances of you doing something terrible and blackmail worthy are EXTREMELY high.

Best Place Ever: La Esquina, 106 Kenmare

Awww, see, now you feel bad for doubting my loyalty to La Esquina! All my friends know that if I ever suddenly go missing, the first place to look for me is La Esquina. You'll probably find me there, stuck in a taco. The reason I love it so much is because it's really perfect for just about every occasion. Want quick food to go? Grab something from the upstairs taco stand. Want to sit and drink margaritas on the sidewalk? They have tables for that too. Want a casual but classy lunch? Go to the upstairs cafe. For fancy dinner and a great nightspot, go to the downstairs Brasserie. My only complaint about this place is that they won't deliver past like five blocks from them, which means...not me. I have literally gotten emotional on the phone begging them to bring me food. No luck. The tacos here are phenomenal, as are the ceviches, mexican corn, spicy watermelon, and my ABSOLUTE favorite salad in the entire world - the De la Casa with chicken. It's simple but filling and amazing. In NY I get fidgety if I don't have it at least three times a week, I went through MAJOR withdrawal when I moved to LA and it's always the first thing I eat when I'm back east. After dinner, hang out at the bar/lounge area and stare at all the attractive people around you. With its dim lighting and masculine aesthetic, it has the feel of a medieval dungeon...so sexy. I miss it more than words can describe.

david bowie is hot sex

2010-07-11T15:35:00.000-07:00

alright boys. this is a very special (though perhaps slightly off topic) entry for me…i mean…the big time. this weekend i discovered an art exhibit at the R and R gallery dedicated solely to one of the greatest films of all time and an old favorite of mine; Labyrinth. Labyrinth is Jim Henson's brilliant, sexy, musical orgasm of a film. if you know me at all, you know of my lifelong dedication to this piece of cinematic gold. so i'm going to geek the eff out on you kids for the next SEVERAL paragraphs as i share the love. because it doesn't happen very often, but guys; i'm in a completely positive mood right now. because there' nothing better than seeing art inspired by something you love.

first i need to give a little history regarding my personal relationship with Labyrinth. i was introduced to this movie at the age of five by my nanny. now, when i was five, i was about as close as a child could come to being the spawn of satan without being Rhoda from The Bad Seed (i did play that part when i was 12 though…and loved it). my tantrums were epic and i was very, very easily bored. BAD COMBO. sometimes when i didn't get my way i'd bang my head on the floor until it bled and then tell my mother or nearest adult, "Look what you made me do." however, everyone knew that if Labyrinth was playing, it was like a tranquilizer; i became an angel. or, my version of an angel, which means, not biting my siblings. from the age of five to about ten i DEMANDED that i be allowed to watch Labyrinth or Beaches (another childhood obsession that i am much less public about or proud of) at least once a day. otherwise…i became a terrorist.

why did i love it so much? well, anyone who's seen this film knows that despite its vast amounts of awesome, the best part is undoubtedly the presence of a spandex-clad David Bowie. i'm just going to put it out there right now; David Bowie was my first sexual experience. in my mind, i mean. i didn't actually get molested by David Bowie, but i think there's still time for us and i'm hopeful. but yeah, you know those first little funny feelings you get when you're tottering around in your Oshkosh and the little boy next to you gives you a crayon, or you're riding in a really shaky car? mine were allfor David. i actually once went up to my mother and gigglingly told her i liked that i could "see where his thingy is in his tight pants." i'm telling you, i was a total pervert!

SLUT!!!

i felt so truly in love with him that i actually cried over it many, many times. in fact, the reason i made my parents let me start auditioning when i was little was because i thought that if i became an actress i could somehow meet him. so yes. i don't know if it was the fabulous hair, immaculate eyebrows or the fact that he's a badass goblin king, but to me, David Bowie in the labyrinth will always be a glowing beacon of sex appeal.

okay. now that i have a massive erection, i'll get to the art show. my friend kim knew of my love for Labyrinth and sexual obsession with Bowie, so when she read that the R and R art gallery would be hosting a group show called "Dance Magic Dance" with work all inspired by Labyrinth, she knew she had to tell me. she. was. right. the show is curated by CW Mihlberger and Mark Yamamoto Kube and features the works of over twenty-eight artists.

if i'm going to be one hundred percent honest i'd have to say that the quality of the art ranged. there were some GORGEOUS pieces that i loved, and then some others that were a tad unimpressive and wouldn't have resonated much with someone who doesn't appreciate the film. but if you're a fan of the movie or of Bowie, you simply must check this exhibit out. and i mean, it's called "Dance Magic Dance." was there ever a better name for an art show?

i loved this piece entitled "Bowie's Baby" by Cody Comrie and am seriously considering taking it home...the colors are amazing, it's creepy yet beautiful and the use of negative space just makes me feel a little breathless. and...how sexy is the title? can I be Bowie's Baby? please?!?!

this reads, "Do as I say and I will be your slave." can you imagine if David Bowie actually said that to you??? uhhhh YES PLEASE.

here with my friend Katherine of Conscious Karma...i'm overwhelmed!

a headdress! YES

it was a really fun opening reception, a great crowd, and the people running the show were all really nice and great to talk to. and yes, there was free booze. (art shmart, don't think i forgot what this blog is reallyabout...i know the only people who read this are alcoholics.) the show ends July 17th and i really recommend going to check it out. another thing that impressed me about this show were the prices. now, i grew up being taught that the only things its not tacky to spend too much money on are books and art. people really need to stop being such cheap assholes about supporting the arts, in all its forms, it's one of the most legitimate investments you can make. i mean, what the hell is this nonsense about everyone thinking they should get all their music for free? drinking for free is an art form, but pay the effing dollar to download the song that a lot of people put a lot of time and energy into making. THAT said...the art in this show is very, very affordable, starting at 150 dollars and i think the most expensive piece was about 1200. really not bad. you should be into it.

whew! what a long post. i'm going to go eat some food. but first, for your spiritual education and sexual pleasure, i leave you with a little gem...click this link for massive amounts of happy. that hair! those pants! ohhh daddy.

R and R art gallery: 929 East 2nd Street Suite 106 Los Angeles, CA 90012

"it's a skill to disdain so many yet be loved by all."

2010-07-10T06:49:00.000-07:00

i just spent eight hours in a dentist's chair. i thought it might actually be a fun day until they informed me i would NOT be given laughing gas. i'm honestly not sure if i would have attended had i known this...what's the point? i'm still, however, in a surprisingly good mood. why, you ask? (or maybe you're not asking, i'll answer anyway) because last night i found my new favorite bar.

before i get to the bar, though, i'll start with dinner. i wasn't super hungry since i'd eaten an enormous late lunch, but i'd been told to check out Malo in Silverlake for good mexican. my friend Kim and i decided to stop by for a pre-drinking snack. it wasn't initially my style but i ended up loving the look of the place, not at all what i was expecting when i thought of a Mexican restaurant. the decor had more of a Spanish feel to it in my humble opinion; not that i've ever been to Mexico but i did have the most epic walk of shame of my life in Barcelona, sans shoes, bra and dignity. i did appreciate Malo's sombrero wearing taxidermy, though, which reminded me of my New York fave Freeman's- they are all about the dead animals there, on both the menu and the walls.

back to Malo. the lighting is dim and there's a sultry (am i lame for using that word?) black and red color scheme going on. a bittttt cheesy but a good atmosphere to get warm and tequila-y with a date...provided your date's a bit cheesy as well. i loved the outside; kind of like what Saved by the Bell would look like had it been filmed by Tim Burton.

we both ordered tacos. i ordered the chicken al pastor tacos off the specials list; braised chicken thighs, arbol chiles, pineapple, pickled red onion and cilantro. they were great! by the way, my favorite chicken tacos in the world are in (gasp) New York, at Los Feliz on Ludlow. do it. kim got the grilled fish tacos, which i didn't try, but she was very happy with them.

as per alcohol...i ordered my super lame and anorexic vodka soda and left the more interesting drinking up to Kim. she got the Organic Margarita made with agave and lime...it sounds boring but it was soooo delicious. i was mad. the rest of the cocktails sounded really good and i definitely want to go back and try them...i'm thinking i might get the Martins Smashed; gin, lemon, mint and seasonal fruit. i've only recently been able to ingest gin after a drinking mishap that occurred when i was fourteen and didn't know it wasn't cool to mix gin, champagne, beer, vodka and...every other type of liquor known to man. the night ended with me crying "this tastes like pine trees frozen over and pissed on" and vomiting in my mother's closet. for years the smell of gin sent chills down my spine, but i'm now officially recovered from the trauma and have discovered that i LOVE minty gin drinks. YAY!

the happy hour at Malo is from 5-7 and every tuesday is margarita night, with margaritas as low as $4. suh-weet. after leaving Malo we decided to try out the recently opened Parlour Room of Hollywood on Yucca. yes!

it was a little bit empty when we went in but the interior is gorgeous and relaxing. the green tufted leather, swanky bar and chandeliers are all very "upscale cocktail lounge" while the jukebox and relaxed atmosphere in general give it the feeling of your favorite neighborhood hangout. it's the kind of place you could go whether you're looking for a serious night out or just want to unwind with one drink (i'm not sure there are really people who go out for only one drink though, i think it's just a rumor). there's also no dress code, thank god, since i've missed drinking in my converse.

i made friends with the bartender, Chad, and owner Craig Trager, who owns several other venues including The Woods and The Well. they were both super cool guys and were not about to let me get by with only ordering vodka sodas so, as i often do when peer pressured, i gave in.

first i got the Parlour Trick; ciroc coconut vodka, lime juice and sugar cubes muddled with fresh kiwi. ahhh so yummy, i finished it in about thirty seconds.

the cucumber cooler was also really refreshing and yum despite the fact that i normally hate cucumber- except on my eyes for puffiness, it really does work! i tried several other drinks but things started getting a bit blurry and i can't completely remember what they were...

outside is a gorgeous patio complete with a fireplace. i asked if i was allowed to roast marshmallows there next time if i brought my own and Chad said yes; i'm gonna make him keep this promise. just wait.

my pretty pretty ladies... look at katherine (check out her health/lifestyle blog called Conscious Karma) and her chilled out sex kitten smile. kim is also lovely but she looks a little aggressive here. (love you)

loveddd the bathroom wallpaper. sex sex sex.

and also, the jukebox! who doesn't love a jukebox? my picks were Please Mr. Postman, Rock and Roll Suicide by Bowie and for some reason a lot of Led Zeppelin...but i think i was pretty drunk by that point. anyway, this place is GREAT, check it out before it gets crowded and ruined!

The Parlour Room of Hollywood: 6423 Yucca St, Hollywood CA

Malo: 4326 West Sunset Blvd, Los Angeles CA

waterloo & city

2010-07-07T14:02:00.000-07:00

You guys could not possibly imagine what a fat ass I've been the past four days. The holiday weekend was a shit show of calories and carbs for me, but my favorite meal of the week was hands down the one I had last night at Waterloo & City. Someone recommended this spot to me and once they dropped the word "gastropub" I was totally down.

My former New York roommate and future bridesmaid, Eloise, was in town for the night, so I picked her up at her hotel and we hungrily made our way over to Culver City. (I should clarify that when I say "bridesmaid" I mean if I were actually engaged...which I'm not, and I hope I'm not hurting any feelings when I say I probably won't be for another decade.) On a side note, Eloise will be starring this fall in a new primetime Fox show called Lonestar, click the link to see her in the trailer. Watch it, she gets naked! Kind of, not really.

Anyway. I nearly killed us on the drive over so we arrived very hungry for our meal. We'd heard rumors of truffle fries. We were ready. I was a bit skeptical since the exterior resembled a Denny's, but the inside was simple and charming. And the food! Ah!

We both got an appetizer and a salad and had intended to share, but we were both so into our own food that we forgot to even look at each other's plates until it was all gone. Afterwards we were both like, "Wait...I didn't even try yours." Eloise got the tuna tartare and the Caesar Salad. The Caesar Salad was so beautifully presented, served in a little shell with prosciutto and poached egg. The only FAIL was the inclusion of anchovies on top.

When I wrote about my favorite British spot in New York, Brinkley's, I discussed the correct way to eat anchovies; which is not at all. Luckily Eloise is a non weirdo and dealt with these nasty little slimers appropriately; instead of eating them, she played with them! Look...they're kissing. (Yes...above them is a heart made of prosciutto)

I got the arugula salad... I am addicted to arugula and can't remember the last day I went without eating it at least once. This salad was DELICIOUS. A good portion size, topped with Coppa and yummy yummy figs. I loved it! But the winner of the night was one hundred percent my ham and burrata appetizer (oh my god all the Kosher kids reading just had panic attacks! sorry). But may I just say, Holy Moses...this was so delicious.

It's served with grilled peach, burrata, benton's ham, corn salsa and delicious little cheesy toasties on the side. It looked so unexpectedly good when they brought it to the table that I literally laughed out loud. I WANT THIS IN FRONT OF ME NOW.

The rumor about the truffle fries also turned out to be true, so by the end of the meal I was feeling pretty guilty. I really didn't want to order dessert but Eloise made this face until I gave in.

How can you say no to that? We ordered the hot chocolate pudding. WHAT. So good. Dulce de Leche and caramelized bananas...need I say more?

gone! damn it!

Waterloo & City: 12517 West Washington Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA 90066

(310) 391-4222

la descarga

2010-07-02T10:51:00.000-07:00

this morning i woke up, figured out where i was, then immediately rushed home to write about my night at La Descarga and how much i love it there. when i found this spot a few months ago it was one of the first places in LA that reassured me i could maybe have as much fun here as i do in NY...maybe. but okay, La Descarga is a Cuban rum bar slash cigar lounge in Hollywood, complete with a taco stand outside (necessary). love love love. i've been meaning to go back for a while so this week i took some initiative and made a reservation for me and my girlfriends. we started off the night by gathering at my friend Ramona's house and stealing some of her roommates' tequila. here she is with their liquor supply. good for you guys, that's a lot of alcohol.

located on a rather grimy block in Koreatown, La Descarga looks a little sketchy from the outside; as all good bars do. get past the doorman and go up a creepy stairwell into a tiny office type room where a lovely hostess sits behind a desk. she then points to an armoire and tells you to enjoy your evening. you're like, "what? i'm confused." that's because it's not really an armoire, kids! she opens the closet, and behind the coats and dresses hanging you see what is actually the entrance to the bar. my first time here i felt like i was walking into Narnia.

after going through the wardrobe you make your way across a balcony that overlooks the crowd and down a very pervy spiral staircase. it makes everyone's entrance such a show. i'm actually a little hesitant about elaborate staircases in drunk places after a fight i had with the stairs at the Hotel on Rivington last summer. below is a picture of my battle wounds from that mishap. such a bad look for me.

but if you can keep your head high and not fall, the La Descarga entrance will make the exhibitionist in you very, very happy. the adorable hostess, Miriam, made the most of this feature, walking slowly and dramatically across the balcony every so often, getting catcalls and whistles from the crowd below. girl was LOVING it. and i love her for loving it. get it. here she is below.

the whole feel of the place instantly puts you at ease. the lighting's dim and the decor sexy in a shabby, deteriorating kind of way (just how i like my man friends - except for the "dim" part). it's not too big but not too small and the crowd is very, very pretty. in the main room there's a gorgeous, speakeasy-esque bar, some tables to lounge in and elaborate chandeliers. a live band plays latin music on the overhead balcony.

adjacent to the main room is the back cigar lounge. It. Is. Smoky. i used to chain smoke cigarettes in high school because i thought it was cool and also because they had me hopped up on adderall, (so like, what else was i gonna do? don't give your kids crack) but until last night i'd never tried a cigar. we decided this needed to change, so Kim and i set about trying to find a man with a cigar to mooch off of. luckily her friend had one and we all shared.

i have not yet mastered the art of looking sexy while smoking a cigar. honestly, i don't really get it...what's the point if you can't inhale? there are men who live for these things. meh, men are so weird, right? moving along. the drinks are PHENOMENAL. they have a very serious rum list. Ramona got this fizzy little concoction- i have no idea what it was but it was yum.

when i ordered my usual vodka soda i received a look of such disapproval from the bartender that i felt immediately uncool. i wanted to be like, "no, i can be fun! i eat carbs!" so when i ordered my second drink i went for the most delicious, sugary thing on the menu...the Barbados Buck, made with rum and ginger beer. unfortunately my plan to ingratiate myself with the bartender backfired as i promptly spilled my untouched drink all over his beautiful bar. and not only spilled but broke the glass. mortifying. luckily there are bars in both rooms, so i gave the bartender a really nice tip and whispered to my friends, "let's go to the other bar where they don't know me."

after relocating to the other room i ordered another Barbados Buck and this time managed to drink it- delicious! so good! i think i may have ended up getting several more but i'm not sure... anyway. then there's the burlesque show. every hour this sexy little woman comes out wearing ridiculous bloomers and does a striptease all over the balcony and staircase. having been a Box snob i'm not tooo impressed with this little number because, let's be honest, unless you're hanging upside down from a rope while stripping, a la Kaitana Taylor Magno...it's subpar entertainment. but nevertheless, it was cute. you just have to forget the fact that this woman probably has two little kids at home. definitely dancing to feed some babies. not that there's anything wrong with that; as i said to my friends, she's either the coolest Mom in the world or an absolute shit show.

when we finally stumbled out of La Descarga reeking of cigars, my friends had to convince me not to get a gum ball from this decrepit looking gum ball machine- for a minute there i was pretty determined though. it was, however, necessary to indulge in the outdoor taco stand. we got three tacos for $5, two steak and one chicken. really really surprisingly good.

so to sum it all up, go to La Descarga, have a cigar, drink some rum, then afterwards eat a taco. i mean really, if you want more from a night out...you're a spoiled brat.

La Descarga; 1159 N Western Ave, Hollywood CA

i had to slap a man across the face last night

2010-06-26T13:07:00.001-07:00

it's better than punching a man in the face. ...which i've also done. twice. but once was in defense of my best friend so totally legitimate...however the other time was a little uncalled for and just me being rude. but i'll get to last night's face slapping incident later; first thing's first.

upon leaving the house last night i told my friend kim i had a feeling it was going to be one of those nights where at 3 am you need mac n' cheese and birthday cake. you know those nights. we started things off at Comme Ca, a french brasserie in weho. i'd heard great things about this place and the amazing drinks, so we decided to stop by the bar for a round. after seeing how delicious the food looked, i'll definitely be going back for dinner. the drinks totally exceeded my expectations though!

firstly, the bar is absolutely adorable and the bartender was super cute and friendly. I ordered the "Rumble" which was sort of like a rum snow cone with blackberries on top. amazing! though unfortunately not as strong as i'd hoped it would be for $15. but still so unique and tasty it was worth it.

Kim totally won with the Moscow Mule; really delicious vodka drink with ginger. so crisp and refreshing, i'm definitely ordering it when i go back.

the whole ambience of the place is just perfect. pretty boisterous, so good for dinner before a night out, really beautiful yet simple decor. in the back the walls are covered with chalkboards that have really cool sketches on them and shout outs to Ernest Hemingway, which seemed a bit random but awesome in my book since he's hands down my favorite writer (besides JK Rowling, duhhhh).

I loved the whole experience, can't wait to go back. after Comme Ca we met up with some friends and hopped around to a couple of places, including a super casual irish pub called Molly Malone's where we were going to see a friend of a friend's band play. It was nothing too memorable but fun because we were with good people. but then...then we made the terrible decision to go to Las Palmas. (i just sighed and shook my head at the computer screen)

Now, I had heard Las Palmas described as this great "latin supper club" type place with a really sexy, vintage Spanish feel to it. But I think the person describing it had it confused with...just...somewhere else entirely. It was so crowded, so huge, basically a mosh pit of badly dressed people humping each other to music. UGH. If you encounter any of the following things, it means you're somewhere that makes me want to die.

exhibit a: men in wife beaters. come on man, maybe during the day, when you're being outdoorsy, getting a little sweaty, but for a night out? no.

people standing on tables just for the sake of standing on tables. i mean, what are you doing up there? get down! (i just noticed this now but i think i see the hint of a cheetah patterned shirt at the bottom of this picture...ALSO NOT OKAY)

people making this face (demonstrated by ryan and kim)

Las Palmas; FAIL!

I was getting prettyyyy moody, at which point a man grabbed my ass. when I requested that he remove his hands from me he reached around and grabbed me in the front. not smart, or cool. that's when I slapped him across the face. it felt so good. I was getting ready to leave but then my friend Miles calmed me by telling me we'd been given a table with free booze and immediately poured me a strong vodka drink. it made things a little more okay but I was in a pretty bad mood at that point so I didn't stay much longer. I was ready for my unnecessary carb overload.

I am a big lover of drunken 3 am binges; remember, if you're too drunk to remember eating it, it can't make you fat. in New York my favorite place for this is Remedy Diner. however, being that everywhere in LA closes at 1, our only option was IHOP. did we dare? embarrassing, but...yes. yes we did.

Comme Ca; 8479 Melrose Ave, Los Angeles CA

the glendon bar and kitchen, los angeles

2010-06-25T14:55:00.000-07:00

I'll get into my dinner at the Glendon in a moment, but first; this morning I went jogging along Santa Monica Blvd in Beverly Hills. Sitting on one of the park benches was a 12 year old junkie shooting up heroine under his fingernails; it made me feel like I was back home in New York! Anyway.

My friend Nick is part owner and executive chef at The Glendon Bar and Kitchen in Westwood. I've gone there several times recently for snacks and drinks with girls and this past Tuesday had dinner there with Nick. Isn't it fun eating at a restaurant with the owner? Everyone's just so friendly. Being that Nick's a bar owner and I worked at The Box during college, our conversation quickly turned to the subject of sexual harassment in the workplace. He informed me of his secret to avoid being sued; study the sexual harassment manual relentlessly and determine exactly how offensively you can speak without technically breaking rules. Also, if a female employee touches you, smack her hand. Sounds pretty good, although at the Box you're more likely to get spanked...except for me, since I occasionally carried a whip =)

Moving along. The space kind of makes me feel like I'm in a really classy barn, with super high vaulted ceilings and lots of dark wood. The bar is long with huge TVs perfect for sporting events, and upstairs is a little private loft/lounge area. All in all it's a pretty stark, masculine aesthetic, but in a good way. There are two happy hours a night, at 6 pm and 11 pm, $5 martinis what whatttt! The wine list is cleverly divided into three categories; first date, second date, and third date. My first time here my girlfriend Heather asked our waitress what the difference was. The waitress blankly replied, "First date is the cheapest." But of course.

Onto the food. This past Tuesday I had the mediterranean salad with salmon, very very very yummy and filling. On a side note, sorry for the horrendous picture quality, I broke my nice camera (sorry Dad) and am currently using a borrowed one that I think is from the 1970's (sorry Scott). Anyway. My favorite dish here is the coffee crusted seared ahi, which comes with spinach artichoke puree and sauteed soy sesame crimini mushrooms. Bomb. And super healthy, the artichoke puree is surprisingly light and not cream based. Other favorites include the prosciutto and asparagus, baked mac n' cheese and the Tijuana grilled corn on the cob. The pizzas are also DELICIOUS. It's all basically straight forward bistro food with a twist. I broke my vodka-soda-only-rule and had the Blackberry Agave cocktail; Cazadores Blanco, Chambord, blackberry preserves, lemon and agave...except Nick had them make it with fresh cherries instead of blackberry. Hit the spot.

I must say though, the best thing about this place are the desserts. So. Effing. Good. The Fleur de Sel caramel cheesecake- I don't even know what to say. I've never had salty cheesecake before, but yeah. It's so good it's a little upsetting. The cookie plate is also ridiculous, oatmeal raison, chocolate chip and lemon white chocolate all with a side of rum infused whipped cream. What?! When I told Nick I was going to visit my upset girlfriend after our dinner, he had the kitchen wrap up a second order of the cookie platter in a box for me to take to her and cheer her up...I did not do this. Instead I ate them myself, for breakfast. (Sorry Kim)

The Glendon Bar and Kitchen; 1071 Glendon Avenue, Los Angeles CA

The Blind Barber; NYC

2010-06-24T16:10:00.000-07:00

While I sit in the LA sunshine eating a gluten free cookie (all other forms of dessert are illegal in Hollywood) something so beautiful is taking place across the country on 10th and B that I weep for my old neighborhood. My dear friends Adam Kirsch and Jeff Laub have teamed up with Ella and Gallery Bar owner Joshua Boyd and opened The Blind Barber in the space where Plan B used to be.

Firstly, all three of these men are terribly attractive, although Kirsch did recently receive a haircut which I told him makes him look like a member of the Hitler Youth. I don't mean this as an insult; the Hitler Youth were taught evil things but were strapping young men. (I'm half Jewish, can't get mad.) ANYWAY. Here are my boys.

The Blind Barber is an old school barbershop by day and a bar/lounge at night; for those special times in life when you need to work on your hair and your buzz simultaneously. Staying true to the tradition of barbershops, cuts and shaves are currently only available to the men. The ladies can eat drink and be merry, though. The two spaces are kept separate, haircuts in the front, lounge in the back, so you won't be finding beard remnants in your cocktail. Unfortunately I was (sob) thousands of miles away for the grand opening last night. However, I did get to check out the unfinished space during my recent trip home and engage in some illegal shenanigans in the backyard space...so I feel qualified to write about it.

The barbershop is open during the day and as it's across the street from Tompkins Square Park, it's a great spot to hangout and relax during the day this summer while waiting for it to be evening so you can drink without judgement (if your friends are the type to judge you for daytime drunkenness- mine are not.) Those who want to feel warm and cozy while the barbers make them pretty will receive a free cocktail with every $30 or $40 cut.

The back lounge opens at 6, bottle service isn't required for a table reservation but they will most likely give you a minimum. But feel free to hang out at the bar all you want if you're cheap. The bar is long and bronze, the furniture antique and saloon-esque and covering the walls are black and white vintage photos. It's all incredibly sexy and makes me want to drink whiskey while a cowboy whispers dirty stuff in my ear.

Also, if you're the eating type (FATASS! Wow, sorry, that was 5 months in Hollywood talking, not me) the gourmet pizza joint next door, Gnocco, will deliver to your tipsy little self. Specialty cocktails include the Sweeney Todd; Irish whiskey, honey, lemon juice and egg white. Go drink here now, because I can't.

The Blind Barber is located at 339 E. 10th St, New York, NY.

I went Hollywood

2010-06-21T17:15:00.000-07:00

I'm back! Sort of. In my last post I know I said I'd be returning to New York by summer with a better tan and smaller ass, but unfortunately that ass is still in L.A. First let me say I still think Manhattan wins over every city in the world. However, in the past few months I've eaten some really good salads, discovered great bars, kissed some extremely good looking men and...signed a year lease in Beverly Hills. However, this is not permanent and my trips back to New York are frequent. But in the meantime I've decided...if I can still get drunk and embarrass myself in L.A, then I can still write about it in L.A. But really I can't get nearly as drunk here because I have to drive, which is another horror story altogether.

Moving along. So when I first got here I was really confused about where to go. I ended up in a lot of very upsetting situations...girls with spray tans, men in gold chains, I don't want to get into it. Then a fellow lower-east-sider turned Hollywood recommended that I check out Jones in West Hollywood.

I immediately loved this place. It's technically a restaurant but the bar/lounge area is always pretty busy at night. The whole place is dimly lit with low, cozy booths and lots of dark wood. Super old school feel to it, nothing too cliche-Hollywood. It has the same relaxing neighborhood feel as Schillers, my go to spot in NY. And the food is BOMB. Jones is known for their pizzas (ps, decent pizza is impossible to find in L.A) pictured below is the spicy sausage pizza my love Janet indulged in on her recent trip to La La Land.

My favorite menu item is the seared yellow fin tuna appetizer that comes with white beans and drenched in yummy olive oil. So rad. Also amazing is the steak salad, which comes with shaved reggiano and crispy artichoke. Incredibly delicious. And they serve you complimentary seasoned flatbread with every meal, which can be seen as either really hospitable or manipulative and enabling.

The bar area is super lowkey, red leather booths wrap around the whole area for those that don't manage to grab a barstool. Anyone who drinks with me knows that unless a drag queen is pouring champagne down my throat at The Box I usually stick to vodka soda (I know, so boring, but I'd rather waste the calories on chocolate, which I eat every four hours like clockwork) but apparently the mixologist here is really great and makes some delicious cocktails. What I do know is that the bartenders are attractive. Big plus.
The crowd ranges from hipsters in their twenties to more laid back forty-somethings...nobody too creepy. However last time I did see this girl with her entire Baby Palace hanging out while some guy straddled her. It was disgusting, so I took a picture.

But one thing I've learned in my 21 (cough 24) years is, there are tacky people everywhere. More abundantly in Hollywood, but still, happens everywhere. On THAT subject, I'd like to draw your attention to the below picture of my lovely friend Kim.

Kim is not the creepy person in this picture. But the guy next to Kim...what an idiot. Now, there's a funny thing about men in L.A. Whereas men in New York will just talk about how much money they make, men in L.A will talk about how much money the people they work with make. The most popular pickup method in Hollywood seems to be dropping the name of your agent; which everyone has, unless you're an agent yourself in which case you drop the names of your clients. Last month while walking down the sidewalk a man pulled up to me in his BMW and said; "Hey. You like music? I represent Janet Jackson. I'm repped by W.M.E. Can I take you to dinner?" It was so much gross in one sentence I almost had a hernia. On this particular Jones evening pictured above, Kim and I exchanged a few quick words with the man next to her and his friend. No drinks were exchanged, no promises were made. After about 60 seconds of small talk Kim and I politely excused ourselves to get another drink. When we got up to leave the restaurant half an hour later, the man drunkenly stopped us and snarled, "You're an actress right? You should be nicer to people here. Los Angeles isn't New York." He then thrust his horribly designed business card at me. I wish I still had it so I could embarrass him on here properly, but it said in huge print, PRODUCER on it. I guess the point being that, if I'd talked to him longer, maybe he would have produced something for me to act in? I don't know. I laughed in his face and left.

However, Jones is a great time and has become one of my go-to spots for when I need a casual meal or a lowkey drink. Also, the bathroom is covered in pervy photos. Yes.

Jones Hollywood: 7205 Santa Monica Blvd

sad news

2009-12-27T18:37:00.000-08:00

so people keep telling me i suck because i haven't updated in a while. and it's true, i do suck, but actually, a lot worse than you guys know...because...i'll be living in los angeles for the next three months. i know, i am a traitor whore. but when i come back i'll be a tanner, skinnier, peppier version of myself- just kidding, while hopefully i'll be skinnier/tanner, i'll still be as bitter as always and ready to talk shit and demand free alcohol all over manhattan once again. until then!

xx meaghan

shopping on ludlow as always

2009-12-07T20:53:00.000-08:00

it's recently come to my attention that Ludlow is a veryyy important street in my life. my gym is on ludlow, my job is on ludlow, the drunk man who asks me creepily if he can "show me something good" every other day lives on the sidewalk of ludlow... just a lot of key aspects of my existence. not surprisingly, half of my favorite boutiques are on ludlow.

one of my recent favorite shopping destinations has been TG 170, located at 170 Ludlow.

this boutique is actually quite large on the inside, with a really gorgeous interior design theme going on. hellooo chandeliers and white on white. it sort of looks like the inside of Barbie's hamptons house, although the merchandise itself isn't nearly as overtly girly as the decoration. what first caught my eye about this place was their jewelry collection.

they have tons of new and vintage jewelry. recently i bought my friend janet a necklace here which is one of my all time favorite bday gifts i've given. i could NOT get a decent photograph, but the necklace actually has etched into it a scene of a forest and a deer (the deer is actually why i got it for her, i once told her if she were a cartoon character she would be bambi)and there are all these little cut outs where the stars are supposed to be.

it's hard to describe but its just one of the coolest pieces of jewelry i've seen in a long time.

as usual, meli left with a dress, but not before trying on several silly items such as this large festive bow.

janet on the other hand, decided to let herself be malled by the store dogs. here she is being eaten. cute cute.

moving on. The Reformation is one of the sexiest stores on the LES, in my opinion. this store actually has a los angeles predecessor, which i find surprising since i think the style is wayyyy more new york than la la land.

the whole idea behind it is that they take outdated vintage pieces and update them in their back sewing room, making every piece unique. unfortunately they were dumb and wouldn't let me take pictures in the store, but i snuck a few anyway. look at janny being super sly, ooooh lala.

i love that the clothes have a really beautiful yet simultaneously masculine, rough aesthetic. i thought that this piece was a really cool version of the everyday sweater dress.

last but not least, my ladies and i stopped into Some Odd Rubies, which has been one of my favvvvvvorite stores for a while now and i've written about before. Similar to the Reformation, Some Odd Rubies specializes in updated vintage pieces as well as items from a handful of up and coming designers from across the states.

this store might just be my favorite place to buy jewelry in NY. last time i mentioned that i bought Melissa her bday present here, but i didn't have a picture... well now i do!

i got this beautiful sword necklace here for her and literally had to force myself to actually give it to her instead of keeping it for myself.

last time i went i found this gorgeous vintage necklace and just had to take it home with me. gotta love the egyptians.i also loved this sick yet slightly silly hooded cape thing.

so go to Ludlow if you want to have a fabulous day and spend all of your hard earned cash in less than 45 minutes... because you will. just beware of any man wearing a fedora who claims he has something GOOD to show you. because really, it's nothing special.

on a side note, remember that if you go into Lola y Maria (located at 175 Rivington) and use the code "prettythings" you will get 20 percent off your entire purchase! the code is also good for use on the store's website.

TG 170 is located at 17o Ludlow

Some Odd Rubies is at 151 Ludlow

The Reformation is at 143 Ludlow

adventures in brooklyn... what? brooklyn? i know.

2009-12-01T11:00:00.000-08:00

so i am a huge asshole and haven't written in ten and a half years due to laziness and a huge family reunion in kansas city where my grandma lives. let's all say it together, "meaghan is suchhh an asshole." okay. good.

ANYWAY.

first of all, i never go to brooklyn. i have nothing against it, and actually have a suspicion that Brooklyn's where all the sexy, unshaven, commitment-phobic thirty-something year old men that i love so much may be hiding. this is a serious theory and i have plans to investigate it shortly. but usually it's really hard to get my lazy ass over the bridge. however, november 22nd was the birthday of one of my favorite brooklyn dwelling friends...katina!

some of you might recognize her as the bitch who once told you and your friends you weren't pretty enough to come inside the Box, in which case...i apologize. but she's nice to me! so i cabbed it over the bridge and headed to Velvet Lounge to meet the birthday girl and friends.

Velvet Lounge is a cigar lounge at 174 Broadway in Williamsburg where my good friend Heather bartends. go do shots with her, she's hilarious, looks like Norma Jean Baker and more likely than not will say something to make you blush.

the space itself is super cozy and sumptuous inside... yes i just used the word sumptuous, and i'll say it once more. SUMPTUOUS. but seriously, the place is filled with so much dark wood, leather and brick it feels like you're in some sexy british gentleman's secret smoking room. i had Uncle Dick's Martini, which was delicious and has a pervy name that makes it sort of fun to order. heather also made me smell the chocolate cigar, which smelled amazing, so if you're a cigar smoker than you should definitely check it out. the whole atmosphere of this place was great, very soothing and intimate.

after a few shots we made our way to Union Pool. now all you super fly brooklyn hipsters are gonna be like "what? you've never been to Union Pool before? everyone knows about Union Pool. you know nothing about where to go downtown. go kill yourself, meaghan." so to all of you guys... whatever. i accept your judgement. but for the rest of you who don't know Brooklyn very well, this is definitely somewhere to check out if you find yourself going over the bridge.

Union Pool used to be an A-1 Pool and Pest Supply shop back in the day, but has now been transformed into a super chill, spacious bar. the bar is quite long, and there's a huge amount of dance floor space although nobody was really dancing when i was there. there are huge, cozy half moon shaped booths to lounge in.

the best part is the outside. there's a large outdoor fireplace which a group of people were gathered around campfire style. it made me want to roast some marshmallows (which i've recently started doing over my stove in my apartment. if you don't believe me, here's a picture).

union pool also has...dun dun dun...a taco truck!

melissa had the mexican corn which she thinks is better than La Esquina's but i strongly disagree, although it was quite delicious. next time i'm getting a taco for sure.

go here if you're in the area. the crowd definitely falls into the cliche young hipster category, but that's to be expected in Williamsburg. the only offensively cheesy person was a flannel wearing man that i bumped into accidentally. when i said "I'm sorry" he turned to me with a predatory grin and said in a deep voice, "Well I'm not." he then continued to mysteriously pop up next to me for the rest of the night with what i think he considered to be a seductive smile but looked sort of like a constipated grimace to me. but if you can tell me one bar where you've never met a single creepy hipster, then let me know, because i can't.

Velvet Lounge: 174 Broadway

Union Pool: 484 Union Ave

recession proof

2009-11-12T08:55:00.000-08:00

in this rough economic time, i know most of you are dwelling on one question; "How am I going to get drunk for free this weekend?" some of you may fall back on the tried and true method; finally accept the friendship of that slimey club promoter who sends you twenty mass texts a week and just deal with his unfortunate presence in return for free booze for a night. (never mind the even more unfortunate fact that you're probably partying at Marquee while 14 year old models hump the air around you, ewww). although this sounds fun in a mass suicide kind of way, i have another option.

Sharkmother Arts Collective is having a one day gallery called Recession Proof this Saturday, the 14th. don't worry, there will be free booze, and unlike the promoters or club owners normally providing you with it, this is run by all young artists with a good cause who won't offer your 17 year old friend coke in the bathroom at the end of the night. so, an improvement to the Marquee idea.

one of my best friends, Reed Whitney, is curating the show along with Erika Perenic. Reed is an actor, artist, and devilishly handsome young man who was once fired from a restaurant for "dancing too much while on the job." above is a picture of him as a toddler which, for whatever reasons, i think you should see.

there is a five dollar suggested donation. the gallery will show the work of 16 artists, they range from already established artists, to street artists, to brand new just graduated artists whose work SharkMother wants to promote. there will be live music, beer and wine, and the art ranges from $15 to $200. the whole idea behind the show is to provide young people with affordable art. it is a one day only gallery at the HiChristina! art space in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. the gallery will be open from 10 am to midnight on the 14th, but the reception (with the booze) will be happening at 8. i've included a few snapshots of the pieces, although they (obviously) are much cooler in person. for more info, check out the facebook event page!

Recession Proof will happen Saturday, November 14th from 10am-midnight!

narnia

2009-11-09T08:12:00.000-08:00

one of my favorite vintage stores in the lower east side area is called Narnia, on Rivington. i was on a mission to find a birthday present for a friend the other day and had to stop in here once i saw these green thigh high suede boots in the window.

narnia has great designer steals as well as the most random, obscure things you could possibly find. I once bought a pink and purple striped menswear shirt with flamingos on it here...and i love it. the girl who works here is also super sweet and helpful.

the shoes here are great! i always tell girls to go here if they're looking for awesome vintage boots. they are designer and non designer and prices range quite a bit, so there's something for everyone.

this silly party dress makes me happy.

narnia also has tons of great handbags and jewelry, so don't forget to check that out as well...i've been admiring this little bag for a while now. so fun.

narnia is located at 161 rivington between clinton and suffolk.

gin at louis 649, tacos at mole

2009-11-06T09:46:00.000-08:00

so the other day my friend stephanie told me that her absolute favorite bar in all of new york was Louis 649, on 9th between b and c. i've been really sick of hipster, scene-y places lately and she told me this place had a great, uber mellow and casual feeling to it. so i dragged my always reliable drinking buddy, Cris, all the way up to 9th. (i spend most of my days below houston, so yes, "all the way up to 9th" is accurate) but anyway, so i get to Louis and i automatically love the look and feel of it. it has great exposed brick walls, is small but has plenty of seating, and seems like the kind of place that is never empty but never overwhelmingly crowded either. the bartenders were really chill and recommended the perfecttt red wine after i described what taste i was in the mood for. i can't remember which it was, but will get back to you on that.

however, as soon as my friend Cris sat down a shot of gin was put in front of her, no questions. she looked pleasantly surprised and took the shot without hesitation. giving her a strange, confused look, the bartender refilled her shot glass. she shrugged and, again, took the shot. after that, he looked at us and said, "Um, are you two here for the Hendrick's tasting?" A moment later a man behind the bar began a lecture on the history of gin. We decided we'd raincheck on the Louis experience and left. also, gin was the first liquor i ever got drunk off of at fourteen, and then sick off of, and the taste still sends chills up my spine. at the time i told my friends "this tastes like pine trees frozen over and pissed on." ew. but we did get this adorable little booklet all about Hendrick's gin. super cute, although utterly useless in my life. but i'll definitely go back to Louis, it was classy yet casual, and apparently they have realllllly delicious cocktails.

after that we decided to get mexican food at Mole. i've wanted to try it before but was hesitant because of the huge, neon, fast food esque sign outside that makes me think of grade D meat and hairnets. but Cris swore it was delicious, so i decided to give it a try. the interior is WAY different than the outside. it's adorable; cosy, homey, brick walls with dim lighting and a warm, cheerful color scheme. and a really cute little bar.

the food was great. i got a very filling salad with shaved cheese, avocado and mixed greens. then cris and i split the steak tacos and chicken tacos. they tacos were really good, but a little blander than the ones at la esquina, barrio chino or los feliz- which are my top three favorite taco spots in manhattan. i loved all of it though, it was all super fresh and great portion sizes.

cris got the ceviche which i tasted and thought was delicious, but it was too spicy for her. look how pretty though! like an overflowing bouquet of avocado and shrimp, mmmmm.

definitely go here, the space is homey and lovely, and the food is great. come here to pregame and get the margaritas, or go for a romantic but casual dinner.

louis 649 is located at 649 E. 9th street

mole is located at 205 Allen @ East Houston

brinkley's

2009-10-28T08:49:00.000-07:00

the last time i hung out at cleveland and broome was several months ago when Bar Martignetti was still open, and all i remember is falling over repeatedly while my friend, holding a bottle of wine, screamed "death to leelee sobieski" repeatedly. (for the record i do not wish death upon leelee, although i do find her annoying)

when my friend raquel texted me the other night saying to come check out Brinkley's, the british gastropub that just opened in Bar Mar's place, she used the one thing she thought would get me out of my apartment on a rainy evening, "There are lots of cute boys here." I responded, "Boys or men?" She immediately responded, "MEN!" so i put on my lipstick and hopped in a cab to broome. first of all, she was not lying about the men. i was pleasantly surprised. the space itself is great, with black and white tiled floors, a long gorgeous bar, and church pew seating. it feels a lot like Schillers, except more dimly lit and a tad more hipster-y. the owners are the same guys who owned Bar Martignettis, which i also loved, so i'm not surprised by how much i liked it.

now to the food. i started with the pheasant caesar salad. i was a little sad about the anchovies in it, because everyone knows anchovies are gross and nobody likes them. however, as soon as i had picked the slimy little guys off, i was delighted with the salad. a little small, but really, really yummy. just remember to ask for it without the achovies, unless you're weird and like them.

i then had the artichoke soup. oh my god was this incredible. it's covered in melted parmesan cheese and full of chunks of artichoke. it was truly delicious, one of the best, most filling soups i've had in a long time.

i was lucky to run into some friends who let me steal food from them as well. adam and sam both ordered the burgers, which are quite large and appropriately messy and come with yummy little potatoes on the side instead of fries. next time i plan on ordering the bass with rustic pumpkin puree, sounds so delicious.

the winner of the night was sam when he ordered the pumpkin meringue pie. it was stupid good and i was devastated that it wasn't all mine. all in all i was sooo happy about this place, it has a great neighborhood feel to it and is exactly the low key but still sexy place that this area needed. great for dinner, or just snacking and drinking as they have tons of little "bar snacks" on the menus.

brinkley's is located at 406 Broome St

emporio

2009-10-22T10:41:00.001-07:00

the other night a few friends and i went to check out Emporio, a new-ish italian restaurant on Mott. the front room is a cozy little space with a nice bar and rustic villa-esque feel to it. it opens up into a beautiful back room with a great skylight overhead and a little comfier seating than the front.

i was going to make an attempt at health and sobriety until the manager sent over complimentary prosecco and appetizers and the plan went to hell.

first he sent us mushroom and risotto croquettes. amazzzzing. hot, crispy, juicy, melt in your mouth delicious. next he sent us these little crostinis with goat cheese, honey and pear. also super yum.

when it came time to order i decided to do what i always do and order two appetizers for my meal. i have ADD and i get bored of just one entree, too monotonous. so i got baked shrimp with garlic and calabrian peppers, as well as a salad of beets, endive, pecorino and hazelnut.

it was all wonderful. melissa got the garganelli with pork and mushroom ragu, and janet totally won by ordering a pizza with spicy salami. it was ridiculous and we all stole some.

we said we didn't want dessert but once again the kitchen decided to fatten us up and sent over three complimentary dishes; panna cotta with yummy fig-ness, a delicious chocolate tart, and last but not least......A NUTELLA CALZONE!

yes, that is a calzone filled with nutella. it...was...retarded. we were ridiculously happy and full at the end of the meal. go here. the food is great, inventive italian food and the service was wonderful. the dimly lit, quiet atmosphere makes it great for a romantic date or for a nice family dinner.

emporio is located at 231 mott street

pastries!!!

2009-10-22T08:29:00.001-07:00

i'm super prejudiced against anywhere over 14th street but i felt i mustttt let everyone know about a wonderful, sugary little spot on 23rd. down the street from my old apartment is a quaint little french patisserie called Madeleine Patisserie. when you walk in you sort of feel like you're in a cute old french lady's tea room, with lots of comfy chairs and couches for lounging in the back.

they have hot food such as croque monsieur, salads, and other sandwiches, but the best part about this place are the pastries.

they have croissants, madeleines (duh), creme brulee, danishes, and lotssss of little assorted tarts.

my favorite things are the little pistachio truffle balls. i don't even understand what they are, but they're so good. whenever i was pissed off, heartbroken or just super stoned and living in chelsea, i'd always come here and let these little guys make me feel better. on my birthday, after eating birthday cake in bed, i promptly got dressed and bought myself six of these, all of which i ate immediately. i felt soooooo good afterwards.

also amazing are the pistachio filled chocolate tarts, and the raspberry and blueberry tarts. if you're ever in the neighborhood, definitely check this spot out and stock up on your sugar needs.

madeleine patisserie: 128 west 23rd btw 6th and 7th ave

Get 20% off your entire purchase at Lola y Maria!

2009-10-16T06:54:00.001-07:00

good news ladies (and gents?), the owner of Lola y Maria has graciously offered a special 20% off discount for readers of Drinking and Other Pretty Things. use the code "prettythings" and you'll receive 20% off your entire purchase! the code is good for use online or in the store. check out the site, but also go inside the store if you get a chance because there's a lottttt more amazing goodies in the store than online, including a lot of vintage finds, adorable handbags, and more. enjoy!

Lola y Maria: located at 175 Rivington btw Clinton and Attorney

a couple pretty places; some odd rubies & lola y maria

2009-10-15T09:37:00.000-07:00

i was a month late buying my friend melissa her birthday present because i couldn't find the perfect gift. i knew it had to be something special because it was her 22nd, which, as everyone knows, is the first birthday when it stops being exciting and you just start getting old. it's all down hill after 21. luckily, thirty seconds after entering Some Odd Rubies i found it, as well as twenty other things i'd have proudly given her. this is a beautiful little gem of a store, with updated vintage clothes, as well as clothes from various designers.

the jewelry in this store is stunning and very reasonably priced, ranging from fairly expensive (but justifiably so) to very cheap.

these rings, if i remember correctly, were all under forty dollars. pretty impressive.

anyone who knows me knows i generally like my jewelry to be delicate and gold, and this place did not disappoint. there are also some chunkier, crazier pieces for girls who like their bling to be a little flashier, but i'm in love with all these gold pendants. honestly, the jewelry in here really stands out among all the stores downtown.

i loved this sheer, beaded piece. so fancy.

this store has a really friendly, casual vibe and the women working here are super friendly and helpful. definitely go here if you want absolutely one of a kind finds.

i also recently discovered lola y maria, a cute little boutique full of clothes, accessories, shoes and jewelry.

the prices are great, tons of dresses for under $200 and adorable shoes and handbags.

i loved this little cropped top

meli got this dress which i thought was super adorable. does melissa get a new dress in every post i write? i think maybe.

IMPORTANT: the owner of Lola y Maria has graciously offered my readers a special 20 percent off when they use the code "prettythings." this is good for use online or in the store, enjoy!

some odd rubies: 151 ludlow

lola y maria :175 rivington

brunch and candy

2009-10-13T15:15:00.000-07:00

i woke up super hungry on saturday and demanded to be escorted to brunch at Schillers. brunch is my favorite meal at Schillers but I rarely wake up in time for it.

i wanted to order the hazelnut and sour cream waffles, which are just so good...that i can't even describe it. they're really special though. but to be healthy i decided to order my go-to breakfast, a fruit and yogurt parfait. because you just can't go to Schiller's brunch without getting some sort of egg dish, i also got a side of scrambled eggs.

i loveeeeeee all the eggs at Schillers. Scott got the extremely delicious huevos rancheros. i wish we had gotten pictures of some of the other egg dishes, which include eggs benedict, eggs hussard and much much more. i also know some girls who will travel from very far away just because they have a craving for Schiller's french toast.

after brunch we went to the Moscot Eyewear museum and store on Orchard and Delancey.

this place is amazing. two levels, with vintage and new Moscot glasses, as well as various other brands, including Christian Dior and Gucci.

there's really something in this store for everyone, prices range dramatically as do the styles.

aside from the museum and store, they also do perscriptions, eye checkups, and repairs here. it's just a great spot and i'm gonna start going here all the time.

and then we went to the happiest place below 14th street, (the happiest place above 14th street is Fat Witch Brownies in the Chelsea Market) a place my good friend and I nicknamed the Mother Ship...ECONOMY CANDY!!!!

this is the greatest candy store ever. it's actually a historic landmark for the lower east side. it's been around since 1937 and is still family owned.

there is any kind of candy you could possibly imagine inside this wonderful store. from fancy to silly, from small portions to bulk size magnitudes of sugar. i love this place.

scott was all about the giant pez dispensers

where do your priorities lie?

this unreal gift basket contains chocolate parfait nips, belgian chocolate smores, chocolate toffee pistachios, chocolate covered cherries... are you fucking kidding? will someone please send this to me?

and then there were all the special gums which made me so incredibly happy.

i'm going to send this, along with a card, to the next person who does something to help me out. but only if they do something really special.

this little dude was almost as pumped to be there as i was.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

RECAP:

Schillers; corner of Rivington and Norfolk

Moscot; 118 Orchard St

Economy Candy; 108 Rivington

"i know i'm cool, because cool people like me."

2009-10-10T10:59:00.001-07:00

on friday i went to a few new spots and a few oldies. i was invited to a friend of a friend's store opening on Rivington, called Vane. I looked it up after and it's actually a NYC based brand that has retail spots all over the place, from Japan to Boston. It's a collection of unisex shoes and jewelry, great for both guys and girls that have a little tomboy in them. i personally have stolen clothing from every man i've ever spooned (excluding one- and i will get you), so i definitely plan on going back and picking up a pair of the loafers.

here is an example of the janet way to wear a loafer. this is only recommended if you are as ridiculously attractive as janet. if you are, you should be very, very smug.

it was a fun opening though, and the open bar i blame for my embarrassing and inevitably painful fall from the wagon.

after the opening our group went for dinner at Clerkenwell on Clinton. this casual little British restaurant had such a great, mellow vibe. and the bar's perfect for a few after work drinks or before a night out.

and the eating, ooooh the eating. i got prawns with the pine-nut side salad. very delicious.

the fries i stole from the boys at the table were super thick and yummy, and melissa's salmon looked amazing.

jeff definitely won with this strange concoction called a Toad in the Hole. i tasted it and it was crazy good, but -just aesthetically speaking- i think looks sort of pervy.

and then there was dessert. above is the girls' expression listening to the waiter tell us about all the sweets.

once we heard "sticky toffee pudding" there was really no choice to be made. it was warm, gooey, chocolately, caramel happiness. i had to take a picture of everyone's reaction to their first bite.

i didn't include melissa's picture because i like her and frankly it's embarrassing, but she enjoyed the pudding as well.

gone! damn it!!! i will definitely go back here.

after sending jani and meli to work i met up with raquel. we hopped around several different spots, including nolita house, spitzers, and welcome to the johnson's. outside spitzers i made these firemen pose with us.

i love firemen! they are so cool. except on st. patrick's day, then they are just loud, annoying boys. but on every other day, firemen are soooo cool. every time they drive by i try to give them a little sugar with my eyes.

after spitzer's we followed the inevitable drunken call towards kenmare and lafayette. on the way we were stopped by these charming australian lads who asked us "where a good place to go was." i prepared for their minds to be blown as we led them to...LA ESQUINA.

we went straight to the downstairs bar but told them they HAD to try the food. we insisted that they get the mexican corn and steak and chicken tacos.

they loved it, obviously, and raquel and i felt like prouddddd hostesses.

since we'd been drinking margaritas while our aussie friends ate, after la esquina we felt in the mood for the Box. i vaguely remember jumping on the security guard lovingly while making my entrance but nothing after that, as is typical for nights at the Box. but i did wake up looking really pretty with a suspicious box of lemon tarts lying half eaten next to me.

absolutely miserable.

Vane: 125 Rivington

Clerkenwell: 49 Clinton

Spitzers: Corner of Ludlow and Rivington

La Esquina: Kenmare and Lafayette

The Box: the depths of hell

pilgrim, babycakes, schillers and barrio chino

2009-10-07T20:19:00.000-07:00

in the past two weeks I've (by choice) become unemployed and semi-sober, although I think "sober" is a relative word. but seeing as how i'm not working or drinking, my only options are to shop and eat. so yesterday, that's what I did.

my lovely friend Cris and I met up and ended up in a store called Pilgrim, on orchard. i think this store is amazing. most of the clothing is by designer Richard Ives, although there are a lot of great vintage pieces, including tons of vintage sunglasses and accessories. i almost had a hernia over these glasses, and i'm horrified that i can't remember who designed them! i'll go back and find out.

there's also a lot of art pieces and random things for the apartment in the store, really making it the perfect place to go gift shopping.

how fancy?

Cris tried on this fabbbbulous faux fur vest that I personally think she needs to go back and buy. being the terrible bitch that I am, I opted for trying on the purple vest that was made from a real dead animal. I didn't buy it though, so you can't get mad at me! no but really, once I went into Karen's on Astor wearing a fur not knowing that it was a semi-vegan cafe, and I got chased out by a man screaming "DID YOU KILL THAT COAT YOURSELF?" it was terrible.

after Pilgrim we headed to Broome for some healthy dessert at Babycakes. I've recently discovered my new favorite menu item at Babycakes, which is this incredible biscuit with sweet cream and fruit jam- it sounds boring but it's ridiculous.

Cris got the fig and chocolate truffles and the vanilla macaroons. just a reminder, everything at Babycakes is made with agave sweetener instead of sugar, and without dairy, wheat or anything else bad.

later that evening some of our other friends joined us for a quick dinner at Schillers. I told Dean I wasn't drinking as soon as I entered so that he'd know not to send over any drinks. instead he kept sending us desserts with sparklers in them, making everyone in the restaurant think it was my birthday.

after dinner Cris and I headed to Barrio Chino, one of my favorite restaurants on the LES. this tiny spot on broome gets packed during dinner hours and has an adorable yet super casual feel to it, with a rough brick interior and sparse decor that mixes asian and mexican influences.

Barrio Chino is a mexican restaurant with an incredible menu for brunch, lunch and dinner. i always get the grilled calamari salad, which is surprisingly filling, but my second favorite is the mango salad which comes with your choice of steak, shrimp or avocado. i also recommend the steak tacos and black beans.

Barrio Chino also has a cute little bar and is known for having great cocktails such as dark ginger mojitos and habanero margaritas.

there was also a superrrr cute bartender for Cris and I to creep on. yay men! below is a picture of us mid-creep.

Pilgrim: 70 Orchard St

Babycakes: 248 Broome

Schillers: 131 Rivington

Barrio Chino: 253 Broome

i got drunk yesterday

2009-10-04T08:23:00.001-07:00

i love getting stoned before shopping, i cannot lie, although i usually end up with purchases that include strange men's clothing and unnecessary things like top hats or wigs. but, surprisingly, i've never gone shopping while drunk. all this changed yesterday when my friends raye, melissa, emma and I went to The Dressing Room, a store on the lower east side which is part bar and part (amazing) clothing store.

first of all, i know everyone's thinking, "What happened to three weeks of sobriety you lying douchebag?" well, my friends, let me remind you that yesterday was Saturday, the one day of the week when calories, alcohol or adultery do not actually count. literally, calories consumed on Saturday magically melt into thin air and do not make you fat. it is scientifically proven. so nobody will blame me for breaking my sober streak yesterday and drinking the booze. plus, it was a bar in a clothing store, come on.

upstairs the clothes are mostly from up and coming new york designers, and on one side is the full bar. i got a vodka soda and was delighted when they told me i could take it with me while i browsed the store.

downstairs is the vintage section, with clothes, jewelry, shoes, accessories, really everything. I thought this vintage Dior travel case was the cutest thing ever, it made me think of riding on trains in the 1920's or something. i don't know why.

and the changing room is soooo cute, it's set up like a little princess room complete with a vanity and pretty things.

raye ended up getting this stunning little bra. i'm obsessed. and look at the gorgeous band in the back!

we were slightly confused by this shirt. i didn't know what the word "beanage" meant but i didn't think it could be good. the definition on urbandictionary.com was;

Beanage
	When collecting a fried breakfast, bean juice leaks from the side of the polystyrene container and all over one's person example: "Dudes I'm suffering some major beanage this morning"

...i don't know, i still don't fully understand, but this made me feel sad and gross. but anyway, moving on.

after leaving the Dressing Room (best thing about a week of sobriety: lowered alcohol tolerance = i was tipsy after one vodka soda!) we did a bit more shopping before deciding we needed sushi. i wanted to try Jin Sushi on Broome between Orchard and Ludlow. this is one of my favorite blocks on the LES as it contains great food spots like Babycakes, Barrio Chino, and lotsss of clothes.

the space was simple and sleek, with cute, youngish clients. i ordered the Lower East Side Roll (spicy salmon, tuna, avocado, eel, fish egg, avocado) and the Spicy Crunch Crab Roll, both with brown rice instead of white. both were delicious and very fresh.

we all loved our rolls and the bill was pretty cheap, with tip we spent about $25 each, and that's including sake.

i decided to make the most out of my one day escape from sober imprisonment and joined the girls at Nolita House, where their friend Sarah was waitressing. Nolita House is a restaurant/lounge that turns into a bar/lounge in nighttime hours.

i loved the masculine yet stylish aesthetic, with fabulous rustic chandeliers and large maps and chalkboards on the walls. the crowd was also refreshingly un-hipster. i didn't see a single girl in sequins or man in suspenders the whole time i was there. score!

above is this girl we spotted drinking her beer with a straw who we thought it was necessary to make fun of. here is raye cackling maniacally at her.

a little later on i busted raye (that's her back) lurking on a table of cute boys while pretending to stand in line for the bathroom. so guilty.

this man at the bar approached me and announced that he liked me but thought that i was "mean and rude." as i've heard this from one too many males this week, i told him to get in line. (the general consensus recently has been that i'm nicer to my girlfriends than to my boyfriends, but i think that's perfectly acceptable.)

in general, i was very pleasantly surprised by Nolita House and will definitely go back. it's hard to find a place that's cute but not scene-y AND has cute men that aren't wearing either suits or smaller jeans than me.

The Dressing Room; 75 Orchard Street

Jin Sushi; 252 Broome St

Nolita House;47 E. Houston St

cortadito

2009-10-04T06:03:00.000-07:00

i have serious sleep issues and always wake up way before my friends, which usually isn't a problem except yesterday i awoke really, really hungry. probably because for the past week i haven't been getting drunk and ordering pie at 3 am. whatever. i needed brunch, so i called my girlfriends melissa and janet- who work till 5 am- repeatedly until i successfully disturbed their peaceful sleep. when everyone was finally ready for food, melissa suggested a cuban restaurant called Cafe Cortadito.

the space was small but bright, open and cozy, with pretty murals on the wall and a really cheerful color scheme. on melissa's orders we got the Yuca Frita to start, which are basically like really thick, juicy fries but much, much better. and they come with this delicious sauce- i have no idea what it was but i loved it.

the coffee was amazing, strong and foamy. above is janet literally foaming at the mouth while our friend jeff tries desperately to avoid me. I ordered the Guaguanco salad, which has avocado, pineapple, red onions, and a little cheese sprinkled on top with a mango vinaigrette. delicious.

janet and jeff got the Ensalada Havana Vieja which has romaine lettuce, heart boiled egg, papaya, green beans, tomatoes, and "tropical" cheese with the house dressing.

melissa, as always, got the best thing on the menu. the Ropa Vieja is shredded beef in a creole sauce and was soooo yummy i kept stealing bites.

the food was amazing and very modestly priced, go here!

cafe cortadito is located at 210 East 3rd St between Avenues B and C.